Are you afraid to ask for what you want? I know I used to be. For years I struggled with speaking up and asking for help. I was overcome with fear of what others would think of me. Would they think I am incapable? Inept? Stupid? Needy? I convinced myself that the response would automatically be “No.” Asking seems to be a challenge that holds so many people back. Intimidation, embarrassment and fear of rejection keeps people from asking for the information, assistance, support or time needed be successful in life.  It took me a long time but I have learned that asking is the most powerful and neglected secret to success and happiness.


A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of being involved with one of the best professional and personal experiences of my life. I was chosen to be an assistant at Jack Canfield’s week-long “Breakthrough to Success” seminar.  Jack is a renowned speaker the mind behind the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series. How did this come about? Simply because I learned to ask. It took me many years (and many missed opportunities) to learn that asking is worth the risk. A response of “no” puts you in no worse position than you started. I took a shot and asked to be involved in this program and the risk was worth the reward!  While at the seminar, I also offered to be Jack’s “roadie” and take care of his guitar, as we are both musicians. I took it back to my room each night to play it and tune it and felt good knowing I helped Jack out during this very busy week.

Once I swallowed my fear and learned how to ask, doors started opening for me. I have found that being afraid to ask for what you want or need is much worse than getting an answer of “No.” We are all here on this Earth to serve and help each other as best possible. The answer you give or get may not always be a “Yes,” but human nature dictates that most people are willing to help whenever possible. The reality is that we all tend to feel our best after knowing we have helped another. So start asking for what you need with a positive expectation, believe that you deserve the help. And when someone asks you for help, understand that they may be feeling intimidated and vulnerable and be empathetic in your response.



We are all here for one another. So stop being a “go-getter” and start becoming a “go-giver.”

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